Talking To The Moon
by obsessedchick15
Summary: Caspian misses Susan in ways people dont understand. The only way he can get to her... or feel close to her is by talking to the moon. rated T because i can.


**AN:/ okay, i know... im supposed to be working on Realization and A New Adventure but im sorry! i worked on this while i was at school when i had free time! this just came into my head and i just had to work on this before i lost it! hopefully... you guys like this and hopefully, it brings tears to the eyes... well... this song is called _Talking To The Moon by Bruno Mars_ and it fits Suspian PERFECTLY! well... i'll leave you to read.**

**Disclaimer: i do not own Chronicles of Narnia; that belongs to C.S. Lewis. i do not own the song _Talking To The Moon_; that belongs to Bruno Mars. i do own the concept of this story, but other than that i own nothing. not even Skandar Amin Casper Hourani Keynes. :(**

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><p><em><strong>I know you're somewhere out there, somewhere far away. I want you back, I want you back.<strong>_

Caspian entered one of his beloved sanctuaries: his room. He was exhausted and slightly frustrated at the moment. Exhausted was he; he was tired from the day's activities, one of which included a council meeting. Council meetings absolutely bored him, unless it had to do with a crisis so horrible that Narnia's people would suffer; none of that sort has ever happened. The only thing exciting for him was when the council men would begin to disagree so much that they threatened to draw their swords. Caspian's heart was filled with a great amount of excitement, but he knew he must stop them from killing each other; which brings me to why he was slightly frustrated. Time and time again, the council men had made this pleads- and that time was now. The council had urged him to marry someone; they urged him to choose a wife. He was king, thus he needed a queen. Yet, the queen that had captured his heart was far way; she was worlds away in fact. They didn't understand him; he wanted her back terribly.

_**My neighbors think I'm crazy, but they don't understand; you're all I have, you're all I have.**_

He plopped down onto the comfy bed, being embraced by the fluffy surface. He looked up at the ceiling, taking slow and deep breaths. She appeared in his mind once more, filling his heart with love and grief. Her blue eyes shimmered like the crystal water in the face of sunlight. Her luscious and wavy soft brown hair cascaded down her back like a never-ending waterfall. She was all he ever thought about this past year; every single day she was on his mind. Some people though him crazy for still holding- or should I say that the councilmen thought he was. They just didn't understand this; they didn't understand that pain he endured. She and her siblings were the only things he had to a family; they were the only ones who made him feel like he had a family.

He stood up and took off the royal blue garments he wore and put on a white cotton sleeved shirt with brown sleeping trousers. He looked at his sleeve, finding a part of it split. The blood was no longer there, but his memories were. When his aunt shot the arrow and it hit his arm, Susan was there to approach him. He closed his eyes, remembering a very secluded memory.

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><p><em>Caspian sat in silence with his professor. They sat on the incline where the archers would stand during battle. It was barely sunrise, but the sun's brilliant light gave the sky a light blue-ish glow. <em>

"_Excuse me," said a voice. The professor and Caspian turned around and saw Susan at the entrance. Her hair remained half-tied, but her armor was discarded. She looked upset at that moment, no doubt from the White Witch incident. She kept her guard up and her eyes shadowed, showing no emotion whatsoever. She looked at his arm, seeing that the blood and how id had not been bandaged. "If I may, I'd like to talk to Caspian," she had said._

_Caspian blinked before he stood up and followed Susan. They walked up to where the armor was still being created. She led him to a specific corner and made him sit as she knelt in front of him. It was silent between them, which were until she had asked him to take off his shirt. With the shirt on, she couldn't properly see the cut. He blushed underneath his tan, but he obliged to her anyways. She continued to examine that cut, never looking up at him. Although he didn't know its meaning, he saw her cheeks turn to a rosy pink. He couldn't help but wonder if that meant she felt the same. _

_She sighed and walked away, leaving him sitting there. He didn't know what that meant either, but as he stood up to leave, she came back with two bowl filled with clear liquid, some gauze and a few small towel._

"_Sit," she said in a firm but soft voice. He did as told and watched as she knelt down before him, preparing the bowl. She took one of the small towels and dipped it into one bowl, wringing it to let the excess fluid back into the bowl. _

_She pressed that towel to his arm, wiping the cool yet scruffy towel along his cut. It was just water that glistened across his skin now. Susan wiped away the dried blood before letting that towel fall onto the bowl filled with water. She took the second towel and dipped it into the other bowl. She slightly wringed it and she sighed. She took her time doing this process. She pressed the towel to his cut and he jumped back slightly. True, the liquid was cold, but it wasn't water. As Caspian had expected, it was rubbing alcohol. Caspian bit his lip to prevent himself from mumbling an ouch, and prevented himself from clinging onto his arm. The rubbing alcohol stung at his skin, like fire was dancing across his skin. She hadn't notice him slightly trembling from the pain; she prevented herself from looking at him. Susan dipped the towel back into the bowl, wringed it and pressed it to his cut again. The cool and wet towel burned like flames across his cut. His tight muscle grew tighter to prevent any embarrassment. But that prevention broke when she wiped deep into the cut. When she wiped deep, a red coloring appeared on the towel._

"_Ow," muttered Caspian, more like hissed. Susan looked up at him with an apologetic look._

"_I'm sorry," she said in a gentle voice._

"_It's fine," he replied softly. She gave him a small smile and repeated her actions. It wasn't hurting Caspian as much anymore, not that he cared. He was watching Susan clean his wound._

_She then placed the towel into the bowl and took the gauze. She wrapped it around his cut, where some blood bled through. She sighed and shook her head. She pinned the gauze together, finishing her actions._

"_I should have said that it would sting. I'm sorry," Susan said as she started to pack up the bowls. _

"_It's fine; it was nothing really," he replied coolly. _

"_It was nothing, and yet you say "ow"?" she asked him. Caspian slightly blushed, which caused her to laugh lightly._

_Caspian enjoyed hearing her laugh. It was as light as a feather and melodious. It was a light ring in his ears, and her laugh or small smile was able to brighten his day._

"_Well… you know…" Caspian slightly stuttered. Susan smiled even more. _

"_A man thing?" she laughed. He just nodded, gaining a bright smile and a slightly louder laugh. _

_Susan stood up, followed by Caspian. It fell silent between them; the only thing ringing in their ears was the sound of metals clanging. Caspian grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head. Susan wasn't looking at him, a vacant expression taking over her face._

"_I believe I should…" Susan started only to have her voice fade. Caspian understood it's meaning though; she should leave._

_He nodded and watched as she started to walk away. "Susan," he said, making her turn around to look at him. "About the White Witch-"_

"_Forget it. It's over and done with," Susan said firmly. Her expression had suddenly turned cold. Her guard was up once more and she breathed heavily. Her ocean blue eyes had suddenly turned into an ocean storm blue and her pouty full lips were pursed. Her eyebrows were furrowed; she looked off edge and angry. Her eyes were darkened with anger and frustration, but her eyes glistened with disappointment and sadness. _

_He looked down at his feet, letting out a nervous breath. When he looked back up at her, she was walking away from him, swiftly and heartbreakingly._

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><p>Caspian closed his eyes, a lone tear falling down his cheek. Why couldn't the council understand that he needed time? Why couldn't the council understand that he was in love with Susan? Love; such a beautiful word and heartwarming action; yet it was also an achingly painful longing. Caspian loved Susan with all of his heart; but it tore at him that they can never be.<p>

_**At night when the stars light up my room, I sit by myself, talking to the moon. Trying to get to you. In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too. Or am I a fool, who sits alone, talking to the moon. **_

Caspian walked out onto his balcony, which overlooked the town. He did not wish to take Miraz's old room, though they insisted he should. So either way, he ended up taking that room, only to please them. He looked up into the clear dark blue sky. It was cloudless and the stars shined down at him. The stars' gleam lit up his dark and gloomy room, his shadow being cast on the ground. He sighed and sat down on the balcony floor, his back against one closed door out of the two. He looked up, his eyes now welling with tears. Even though he wanted to, he felt embarrassed.

"Susan," he said, feeling awkward. "I miss you, so very much. Every day without you is torture for me."

He talked up to the sky, as if he were speaking to Susan. "I'm not even sure if this will even get to you, or if you will ever know how much I miss you. I'm just trying to get to you, trying to get in contact in some way, but I know that will never happen. We are worlds apart… how can we?"

His tears trailed down his face, his eyes glistening. "Maybe, I'll never know, but maybe you're talking back to me in this sort of fashion. Maybe… but I'll never know. Or, maybe I'm just a fool… a fool who can't accept the fact that you're gone."

_**I'm feeling like I'm famous, the talk of the town. They say I've gone mad, yeah I've gone mad.**_

Caspian looked down onto his lap, his wavy hair covering his face. He sighed and looked back up, thinking of things to say.

He felt as if he were a very known and legendary person. Sure, he was king; the Telemarine who saved Narnia, but if felt different. The way the people looked at him felt different. They looked at him not only with admiration and respect, they give him an apologetic look; or the look one gives to a person who has recently lost a loved one. He knows they talk about him; though not in a gossiping way. When he passes by, he knows and hears their whispered voices. They don't talk about how handsome he is or things like that; they talk about his pain. They talk about how they feel sorry for their majesty losing Susan.

But then there are some who absolutely thought he was crazy. Those people were the council men and the ladies of the court who deeply admired him. To them, Caspian was a lunatic; they say that he's gone mad for still loving Susan, especially the ladies. Those ladies just wanted him to themselves; they don't even know him besides the fact that he's available and devilishly handsome.

But he didn't care about them. He didn't care about them. He didn't care whether they thought he was a lunatic or some mental person. That's what happened to a person who fell in love; they were crazy in love.

_**But they don't know what I know. 'Cause when the sun goes down, someone's talking back. Someone's talking back.**_

He looked up into the sky, taking a very deep breath. No one knew what he knew. In his mind, he didn't think it was true. But deep in his heart, he knew it was; it had to be. Whenever the sun hid behind the horizon, he felt his heart soar, which is something that happened very few times in his life. The stars continued to glimmer at him. In his mind, someone was talking back to him. Susan was talking back to him; it made his heart swell and ache.

_**At night when the stars light up my room, I sit by myself, talking to the moon. Trying to get to you. In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too. Or am I a fool, who sits alone, talking to the moon. **_

"I miss you, Susan, you and your siblings. You were my only family," Caspian cried. Living without them, living without her- he couldn't understand why they couldn't stay. This… Eng-land may be where they were born; but Narnia was their true home. Narnia was where they truly belong.

"I miss you. I want you to come back. I miss everything about you. My life is now empty without you."

He tried many times to get to her, he really did. After the crowd had cleared after the people who had chose to leave left, he tried to walk through the tree as well, hoping he would be taken to their world; he hoped he would be taken to them. But he never got anywhere walking through; he just ended up on the other side of the tree. He tried time and time again, but he never got anywhere. He would pray to Aslan that he would be able to visit their world for one day, or that they would come back; but his prayers never came. He even tried blowing on Susan's horn.

"_Why don't you hold onto it? You might need to call me again,"_ she had told him. Little did they know that if he called for her, she wouldn't come; she would never come. He tried this multiple times, he still continues to do so today, but she never comes.

"I really hope you're talking to the moon as well… or else I'm just a stupid fool for talking to the moon," Caspian muttered the last part to himself.

He felt at ease by doing this action; he always did. He did this every night and felt better doing this. But as he felt at ease, he also felt stupid. He knew that nobody was really talking back; he knew that she'd never come back to him. In his dreams, he imagined she would… but in reality, that would never happen. Thus, he felt like an idiot doing this every single night.

_**Do you ever hear me calling?**_

He wondered if she can hear him, even if it seems impossible. He wondered if she even knew that he's talking to her.

_**Cause every night I'm talking to the moon. Trying to get to you. In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too. Or am I a fool, who sits alone, talking to the moon.**_

Caspian cried into his lap, letting the tears free-fall. He took a slightly staggered breath and looked back up. The sky still glimmered, shedding its light upon him.

"I can't fully remember when I was truly happy. Though the only thing I remember is you being by my side. Either it be dancing or just talking in the garden, those were the only times I can remember being happy; times when I was with you.

"I always thought…" and he suddenly felt his cheeks heat up. "I… always thought we'd end up together. You as my wife… and I as your husband." Caspian smiled brightly through his tears and his cheeks flushed. "I always thought that we'd be married and that we'd have children with your beautiful eyes."

The flush on Caspian's cheeks grew as he imagined Susan in that form.

"Ever since I met you, I knew you were the one. But… how can we be… if you're not here?"

The moment of humiliation and joy left his eyes and his entire being. It was replaced with sadness and heartache. The pain in his heart grew; the hole was never going to be filled. His heart would belong to no one; it would forever belong to Susan. And with each thought of her being gone, his heart hurt more and his eyes burned from his salty tears. He couldn't take not being with her, she was all he had. Now she was gone, never to come back. He tasted his salty tears on his lips as he softly cried. No one would ever take his heart; not one single person in all the worlds would be able to do that. No one would take his breath away like she did. No one would fill his mind everyday besides her. He will love no one like her, he swore to it. Even if he was married, he wouldn't love that wife like he loved Susan. That was never going to happen; he was never going to forget her. No one would replace Susan.

_**I know you're somewhere out there. Somewhere far away.**_

Caspian's tears subsided and he looked up at the black sky. The star's gleam still shimmered and the moon's glow radiated onto the castle. He sighed and stood up, wiping away the tears that fell upon his cheeks. He started to head back inside of his room, before looking back up at the sky.

"No matter what, Susan, you will always be my first love. No matter what happens, my dear Susan, I will love you until the end of time. I love you, Susan, and I always will," said Caspian. A stray tear fell down his cheek and he sighed.

He started to head inside of his room before he heard a voice: _"I love you, Caspian… I always have and I always will."_ He looked up at the sky, a bright smile forming on his face; he knew that voice. He smiled and sighed, heading into his room. He glanced back up at the sky one more time before closing and locking his balcony doors. He climbed into bed and had a smile upon his face. That night, he dreamt of her.

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><p>Susan was lying on the soft green grass in their backyard, looking up into the clear sky. The stars and moon were unusually bright that night. Her brown hair was splayed out onto the ground with one hand behind her head. She wore a white button up cotton collared shirt with a red and yellow plaid knee length skirt. The shirt sleeves were folded up to her elbows and her knee high socks and shoes were taken off. One hand lied on her stomach and her legs were crossed. She gazed up at the sky as tears trailed down her face like small waterfalls. Her ocean blue eyes were sparkling with tears, both of love and grief. She sighed and continued to look up at the night sky. The stars shone brighter and sparkled while the moon glowed down at her. Their brightness was unusual; the stars never shone like that unless they were in the country. Their gleam was another reason for her crying; their brightness reminded her of Narnia's nights.<p>

But other than that, it was a whole different subject. She missed Caspian dearly; and her heart tore at the fact that she will never see him again. She looked up at the shining moon, thinking of her Caspian. She took in a staggered breath, closing her eyes in the process. The Telemarine that saved Narnia filled her mind once more.

"Su," said a male voice. She turned in her position to see her younger brother by that patio doors. "It's time to come inside," he had said.

The Pevensie siblings knew why she would go out there and cry. Her parents never understood it, but they let it be since her siblings were taking care of her. But Edmund understood it more. He understood her pain; he understood her. Like Peter, Edmund had a soft side for their sisters. Though unlike his oldest brother, Edmund had his soft side for Susan, whereas Peter had his for Lucy. Even though he didn't wish to, he understood love. _"I'm older and don't think I want to understand,"_ he said as a joke. He wanted his sister being happy; they all wanted her to be happy. They all knew doing this brought her comfort and joy. She wasn't the only one who missed Narnia or Caspian. The Telemarine who saved Narnia became their friend. Narnia was their home; it was where they truly belonged.

Susan sighed and looked down at the grass then to her brother. "I'll be in a minute," she said. He looked at her, not sure whether he should leave her or not. "I promise," she insisted.

Edmund sighed, and looked inside. Lucy and Peter were in there, waiting for them to come inside. Every night, they spent time together; they would talk, play a game or just be together. He gave them a look saying that she'd be in soon. They nodded and took a seat by the couch. Edmund looked back to his sister.

"I'll be inside; we don't want you to miss our sibling bonding time." Susan smiled slightly and looked at the moon as Edmund walked back inside.

The brunette Gentle Queen took a deep breath and looked at the glittering moon. "I miss you, Caspian," she breathed out. "I miss you deeply. Without you… I'm not sure how I'm going to keep moving. Everything about you is so different from the men here… and I wish they were like you."

She took that back. "I want you!" she cried.

Caspian was so unique in her mind. No man can ever compare to him. His soft dark brown hair felt silky through her fingers. His deep brown eyes just hypnotized her, catching her off guard and left speechless. His personality was so differed from all the boys she knew, besides her brothers. He was a very sweet and noble guy. He was intelligent and just so kind. Every man that has wanted her never really knew her and just loved her for her beauty. But with Caspian- he loved her for her. Caspian was different, and he had stolen her heart.

"I wish it never had to be this way. If I could, I would stay," she slightly sobbed. "I love you Caspian… I always have and I always will." She looked up, the stars twinkling down at her. She sighed and stood up, all the while wiping away the tears.

"_No matter what, Susan, you will always be my first love. No matter what happens, my dear Susan, I will love you until the end of time. I love you, Susan, and I always will,"_ said a voice. She looked up at the sky and automatically knew that voice. She smiled through her tears and gave a sigh of contentment. She couldn't believe it.

She walked back into the house and locked the patio doors. She walked to her siblings and took a seat on the floor by her eldest brother. He looked at her, confused with the bright smile on her face. She would smile when she came in, but it would never be this bright.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

She looked at him and nodded. "I'm fine."

"You feeling better?" asked Lucy.

"Definitely," Susan replied.

"Don't you feel like a fool just sitting there and talking to no one?" Edmund asked. Susan looked at him and smiled. She looked at all of her siblings.

"No," she replied smiling, "because I know he's talking back."

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><p><strong>AN: how'd i do? terrible? good? okay? anyone love it? well... i suck at songfics... but i hope you liked it and please, dont forget to review. okay, thanks.. =)**


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